I'm a REAL Blogger Now!

As of yesterday, I am officially an OC Blogging Mom!! My first guest post went live on the OC Mom blog site of the Register. So check it out: http://themomblog.freedomblogging.com/2010/03/05/housewives-my-apron/49349/

So sure, this post is soooo last Tuesday for both of my loyal readers out there. And sure, it makes me look like an incredibly vain, TV obsessed whackadoodle, but hey, I'll take it!

Now, I must go and fantasize about which reality star I will next gossip about for my growing readership. Who'd have thought that so much community philanthropy would come out of something I resisted doing for so long--for the mere fact that the word "blog" sounds like something that should be done in a bathroom?

"Housewives," My Apron!

So today I went for my least favorite appointment of the month that is only redeemable by the effervescent, chipper chatter of my bikini waxer, Ann. (Note: anyone who would choose this career is undeniably unique and special, but anyone who does this well while ALSO successfully distracting her victims with recaps of missed episodes of the Bravo line-up is truly amazing.)

So while I lay in wax, bracing myself, Ann ever so kindly filled me in on the entire back season of my OC girls. How I missed an ENTIRE season, I cannot explain-- except by the facts that I haven't really been watching TV at all (besides Modern Family and The Office), and that Michael has taken control over the Tivo lately. So shows that end in "housewives," "millionaire," and "runway," are mysteriously disappearing from the queue.

So, did you know that Tamara and Simon are splitting up, and she's been seen working out at the Renaissance with her new man? And dippy Mother-of-the-Year Lynne has no use for her husband anymore since he got them evicted? And Vicki has somehow emerged as the dark horse of normalcy as she is the only one managing to avoid bankruptcy and divorce and holding it all together? Can I get a woo-hoo? Oh, these women are such a guilty pleasure, and so extra exhilarating as we occasionally bump into them in our OC backyard (Tamara-mall, Gretchen-Bon Jovi concert, Lauri-Savannah Chophouse).

As Ann and I trashed and bagged on these ever-increasingly trashy and baggy-eyed women, I couldn't help but notice that Ann now has a spray tan set-up in the next room...

Ann: "These women are RIDICULOUS! They spend $700 on a pair of JEANS!"

Me: "Ann, do you do spray tans?"

Ann: "Yes! Do you want one?

Me: "Maybe when I go to Mexico. Yeah, those women are SOOO vain--I mean, when will it end?They're choosing their spa days over their families."

Ann: "I know, I don't think they are a good representation of the OC at ALL!"

Me: "Tell me about it. Hey, do you do the lash extensions, too?"

Ann: "No, not yet. But it's so cool, huh? It's amazing how they can make your eyes just pop!"

Me: "I know. Tons of my friends are doing it. Back to the Housewives, yeah--I don't get where they pluck these women from. I don't know anyone like that..."

Oh, if only Michael could have Tivoed that conversation. I definitely would have deleted it.