The track meet was going like any other sporting event to which my kids don a jersey. Sure, I love to watch them play. I even try to smile as I holler "Wake up!" "Stand up!" and "You’re running the wrong way!"
It’s quite painful, really, and it’s all my fault.
So after watching my daughter not place in first, second, third, fourth, or even fifth in a foot race at the track meet, I was a bit surprised when she leapt up the bleachers with a huge grin.You see, my kids inherited the B-team, third string gene from me. They prefer the stage and any type of screen to all sports. But in a perpetual effort to athleticize them and "find their thing," we actually spend most sports seasons playing the game of bribery: "You have to play the whole game if you want a snack!" and "Those who quit mid-season do not get to sing karaoke at the team party!"
"Did you see me? I broke a school record!" she exclaimed.
"For what?" I asked, wondering how one sells a baton drop to the hall of fame.
"For the world’s shortest long jump ever! One inch! I tripped when I hit the sand," she announced proudly. I couldn’t help but echo her giddy laugh. At least she’s finding the joy in her bragging rights.
And so did I. My athletic claim to fame is that as a child, I played on the same soccer team as women’s Olympic gold-winning forward Cindy Parlow. That’s right, we rubbed shoulders as we stuck oranges in our teeth at half time in the third grade. But that was the closest I ever got to her, as she played forward and was so amazing even back then that the ball NEVER once came on our side of the field.
Too bad because I’m sure I would have offered some mad skills on defense, where I was strategically positioned to sunbathe the entire season. There, I also started a side business making dandelion bracelets to hoc post-game with the other three directionally-challenged green jerseys...
To read the rest:
Cracking Up: So what if we're not breeding Olympians? - OC Moms - The Orange County Register
